Lauren Oliver answers my question

Okay, so ever since I finished Before I Fall, the one thing I can't seem to shake out of my head is WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PEOPLE SAM LEFT?! ESPECIALLY KENT?!?!? So, of course, I asked Lauren Oliver immediately, when I found out she had a Tumblr. I didn't think she would answer though.

But this morning, SHE DID!!!!!!

First thing: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Second thing: MISS OLIVER DID NOT ANSWER MY QUESTION

But whatever! This is some kind of blessing for me, because now I can formulate my own head canons and not be all like, "but what if the author had meant for something else to happen?" 

So in my head canon, KENT IS ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED! And he's confused. He thinks that maybe Sam had known she was going to die and, because of this, he would feel special for a second, because she chose him to be one of the people she would spend her last day with. But then he'd be angry. Who wouldn't be?! You finally get your dream girl and then a few hours later, death takes her away?! I would pretty pissed. I feel like he'd be depressed for weeks, even months, because I think that's the kind of person Kent is.

Stopping now because I'm going to cry.

Before I Fall

What if you only had one day to live? What would you do? Who would you kiss? And how far would you go to save your own life?
Samantha Kingston has it all: looks, popularity, the perfect boyfriend. Friday, February 12, should be just another day in her charmed life. Instead, it turns out to be her last.
The catch: Samantha still wakes up the next morning. Living the last day of her life seven times during one miraculous week, she will untangle the mystery surrounding her death--and discover the true value of everything she is in danger of losing.

 I cried in the end. WHY? Because Sam's really dead. I thought for sure she was just in a coma somewhere and she's going to wake up and everything will be okay. BUT IT'S NOT. She's really dead. And I cried because the situation was just so hopeless and unbearable. Sure, during the 7 days of her after-death, she realized her mistakes and went to correct them, realized she'd been blind and that she actually likes another guy, realized that people have baggage and secrets that they carry with them that sometimes gets too heavy to hold, but goddamn it, she's still dead. 

No matter what she does, she dies at the end of the day. I think that's what made me break down. Maybe because I'm scared of death, or the idea of dying. Terrified.

And I thought about the people she left. Especially Kent. Kent, who's been pining over her for years while she ignores him, who finally got his dream girl ON THE DAY SHE'S SUPPOSED TO DIE. That must hurt like a I want to know what happens to Lindsay, or to Juliet after Sam saves her, or to Izzy. 

The ending was so sudden for me. I thought I had a few more pages left but they were just ACKNOWLEDGMENTS!! 

Yeah, I rated it 4 stars because I loved it and when you love stuff, you give them at least 4 stars. 1 star because after I was done with it, the urge to hurl it on the wall was so strong, and that must mean something, like it was amazing and I didn't want it to end.

Love Story

Oliver Barrett IV, a wealthy jock from a stuffy WASP family on his way to a Harvard degree and a career in law . . . Jenny Cavilleri, a sharp-tongued, working-class beauty studying music at Radcliffe . . .

Opposites in nearly every way, Oliver and Jenny are kindred spirits from vastly different worlds. Falling deeply and powerfully, their attraction to one another defies everything they have ever believed--as they share a passion far greater than anything they dreamed possible . . . and explore the wonder of a love that must end too soon.

The story is just what the title says it is: a love story, and a cliched one at that. It's the rich boy-poor girl angle everyone seems to be tired of already, but it still appealed to me. Maybe because I'm a sucker for cliched love stories.

The plot of the story is fairly simple: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy marries girl, then something tragic happens. All that happens in less than 140 pages. Reading the book felt like getting little glimpses in the lives of Oliver and Jenny. Nothing is over complicated. One chapter, they're on a date, the next they're talking about getting married. Sometimes, I just wanted to shout "STOP WAIT A MINUTE LET ME CATCH UP!" but I realized that this wasn't a normal reading experience; it was listening to someone recount his love story. When someone tells you a story, they don't go into every detail, they just tell you the ones they remember, the significant parts. That's what Love Story is. Someone telling you a story as if you were his friend. They don't recite each scene of their lives, they don't say what they had for breakfast or what they said to each other word per word. It was a refreshing read, actually.

Except the tragic ending.

Which I made the mistake of reading in school. If I wanted to, I could have read it in two days, but I didn't want it to end yet. Before Calculus class, I only had like a few chapters left to read so I figured I could read it before the professor comes.

SPOILER ALERT

Oliver and Jenny goes to the doctor to find out why they can't get pregnant. Instead they find out something else. Jenny has leukemia. I literally had to clutch my chest and mutter "oh god oh god oh god", which earned me weird looks from my classmates. Jenny was going to die, I know for sure. I couldn't wrap my head around it. WHY?! Why did someone have to die!? This was a love story! They're too young, damn it! That chapter hit me square in the face like that stray volleyball in gym class a few years ago: unexpected and fucking painful. And yes, like that time in gym class, I cried.

And Jenny wasn't even dead yet.

Why did  I care so much about two characters who anyone would think would be impossible to know in less than 140 pages? I don't know too. It was pretty crazy, if you ask me. But it just pained me to know that thes two people aren't going to have a happily ever after.

Thanks Erich Segal. For breaking my heart.

Anyway, let me address something that a few people would consider a minor flaw in what would otherwise be a flawless book: the line "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Although I also don't agree with it, I thought that maybe the author just worded it wrongly. Maybe his point was if you love each other and understand each other very much, you don't need words like "Sorry" because I guess you just know ... you know? Ugh. I suck.  I can't explain it properly, but I tried oh well.

Also, this was turned into a movie and I only found out yesterday! The movie was in 1970. Pretty old, but apparently a tearjerker, according to IMDB User Reviews. I downloaded it. Heh.

Currently Reading: BEFORE I FALL BY LAUREN OLIVER

Let It Snow

Sparkling white snowdrifts, beautiful presents wrapped in ribbons, and multicolored lights glittering in the night through the falling snow. A Christmas Eve snowstorm transforms one small town into a romantic haven, the kind you see only in movies. Well, kinda. After all, a cold and wet hike from a stranded train through the middle of nowhere would not normally end with a delicious kiss from a charming stranger. And no one would think that a trip to the Waffle House through four feet of snow would lead to love with an old friend. Or that the way back to true love begins with a painfully early morning shift at Starbucks. Thanks to three of today’s bestselling teen authors—John Green, Maureen Johnson, and Lauren Myracle—the magic of the holidays shines on these hilarious and charming interconnected tales of love, romance, and breathtaking kisses.

Synopsis from Goodreads.

Okay, this is going to be a short one because I should be asleep right now. Simply put: I loved this book! It was a delight to read. Each of the author had their own style of writing, of course, and I had my doubts in the beginning. But throughout the book and the three stories, there were these tiny details ('asshat', the TinFoil Man, etc) that somehow the authors managed to interconnect with each of the stories. I guess that's what made it interesting for me. I kept exclaiming, "Oh yeah that's/he's/she's from that previous story!" It was fun.

My favorite story, and I'm not being bias here, is John Green's A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle (hope I remembered that right). The characters,  as per John Green tradition, were very clever and witty and I wished I was their friend too. And don't get me started on the hilarious-ness of this story! Story time: I read it on my way home one time on the bus because I didn't want to fall asleep, and there's this one part that just made me want to laugh, but being on public transportation, I couldn't. Because that would be embarrassing. So I made that face where you try so hard not laugh and all you end up looking like is someone constipated. Not good.

So yes, it was really funny.

My story I liked the least was Lauren Myracle's Patron Saint of Pigs, simply because I thought the main character was self-absorbed in a very annoying way. I know this was intended by the author and I guess that was her point: to make the reader realize how self-absorbed the character is, but eh. I just don't like how she was portrayed. I would have liked it better if it was told from Jeb's point of view.

And since I talked about the two other stories, I should tell something about the first one, which is Maureen Johnson's The Jubilee Express. I loved this one too, because it was very fluffy and fun. Typical Y.A. romance novel. Nothing I haven't read before, but it was good too. And I loved it.

So there. To summarize, Let It Snow is a great quick read and I LOVED IT.

Reading update:

I'm currently reading Erich Segal's Love Story. I'm liking it so far.

Crazy!

Prelims term went from "what's new?" to "WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH THIS SHIT IS GETTING CRAZY!!" I can barely keep up with all my subjects. Just last week, we had a long test for Family and Community Health (that I did not thoroughly study for) and that turned out good, considering I only scanned my notes two hours ahead of the exam. I finished the exam in less than twenty minutes but I didn't want to be the first one to pass my paper so I slept for a while. I haven't been getting any sleep lately.

Then last Monday, we had a long test for Calculus!!! I also did not really study for that. I am now thinking I have a problem. It was okay but you know how your mind completely blanks on that one topic that you did study for and then you're left staring at your exam paper and praying to the God of Remembering Something (if there is such a god)? It happened to me. I wanted to cry because I actually studied for that one topic but I forgot!!! Also, I had the sniffles. The silence in the exam room was occasional broken by the sound of me trying to keep my snot inside my nose. It was embarrassing.

And also, we studied how to take someone's vital signs in FamComm Lab. I struggled. Not so much with the how to wash your hands properly, but with the temperature taking and blood pressure taking and the pulse rate taking and the respiratory rate taking. Mostly with the BP and pulse rate taking.

I could not for the life of me locate the pulse of my partner. It took me about 5 minutes and I honestly wanted to just pretend that I finally felt it and just blurt out a random number that would fall in the normal pulse rate range of an adult.

I struggled so much with how to take a blood pressure. I could cry. Why can't we just use digital sphygmomanometer?!?!?!? I borrowed my friend's sphygmo so I can practice on everyone in my house right now.

I still can't do it. We have a practical exam on Monday. We have to take all the vital signs in 2 minutes.

HELP ME.

5/5 stars!

We have a long test for Genetics tomorrow. Why am I online?

READING UPDATE:

I finally finished I Hunt Killers!!!!!

I KNOW RIGHT?

It's actually pretty good. Please don't consider my slowness and laziness in reading this book as an indication that this isn't a good book, because it really is. Towards the end, I couldn't put it down anymore and I read it all night even though I needed to get up early the next day.

I can't wait for the next book because the ending is a major cliffhanger! I wanted to throw the book across the room when I was done with it BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO UNTIL THE NEXT BOOK I'M DYING HERE WITH ANTICIPATION AND SUSPENSE THIS IS WHY I HATE READING SERIES

Anyway.

I also bought a new book: Lauren Oliver's Before I Fall

I bought this last weekend. I was originally going to buy David Levithan's Lovers Dictionary, but I couldn't find it anywhere! So frustrating. Anyway, I also considered buying Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler's The Future of Us but I left that bookstore because I thought I'd go to another mall and see if they had LD in the bookstores there.

They didn't. And they didn't have The Future of Us too.

So I bought this instead because it's on my Wishlist! I also considered buying Gayle Forman's If I Stay, but I don't know, I felt like I should buy this first. For some reason. I could always come back for it next weekend.

And lastly, MY JOHN GREEN BOOKS ARE NOW COMPLETE!!

Yes, that means I have Paper Towns now. Woooot! But it is so far down my To-Read List, because I still have a few books to read before that but still, you know? Aaah.

I love books.

I'm currently reading the collaborative work of John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle, which is Let It Snow. I'm on the 2nd story now, which is by John Green. The first one is so cute and fluffy and ugh why don't things like that happen to me

Instead I'm stuck with three Genetics hand-outs and a Medical Parasitology book to study. Darn.

A Match Made in Highschool

When the principal announces that every senior must participate in a mandatory year-long Marriage Education program, Fiona Sheehan believes that her life can't get any worse. Then she marries her "husband": jerky jock Todd, whose cheerleader girlfriend, Amanda, has had it in for Fiona since day one of second grade. Even worse? Amanda is paired with Fiona's long-term crush, Gabe. At least Fiona is doing better than her best friend, Marcie, who is paired up with the very quiet, very mysterious Johnny Mercer.

Pranks, fights, misunderstandings, and reconciliations ensue in an almost Shakespearean comedy of errors about mistaken first impressions, convoluted coupling, and hidden crushes.

Synopsis from Goodreads.

YES, I FINISHED ANOTHER BOOK BEFORE I HUNT KILLERS AGAIN. SORRY NOT SORRY.

Back to the book...

BEWARE THIS POST HAS SPOILERS!!!

What does a school do when the divorce rate across the country is going up? Implement marriage education, of course!

I thought that was silly and cheesy. I've only read about such things in fanfictions and they're not exactly my favorite. But the reviews on Goodreads said it was hilarious and good so I tried it.

Fiona Sheehan gets randomly paired up with Todd, the guy he hates the most. Todd's girlfriend gets paired up with the love of Fiona's life, Gabe. Marcie, Fiona's best friend, marries Johnny Mercer, who shares Fiona's music taste and has a good sense of humor.

Couples are required to do what real couples do: get jobs, earn income, save money, spend money. Fiona thought he had  the worst luck in the world. Todd has made it clear he despises her, which is good, because the feeling is totally mutual. Weirdly, Fiona realizes that maybe Todd enjoys their fights and banters. What's even more weird is that Fiona feels the same way. The like that they hate each other.

I thought they were going to end up together, because that's how it's supposed to be, right? Two people hate each other forced to spend time together are bound to fall in love. Or kill each other. I was hoping it was the first one.

They were just so right for each other in ways I could not describe. I just felt that they do.

And then enter Johnny Mercer. Johnny Mercer, who took the fall for Fiona when the principal caught her pulling a prank on Todd. Who worked after school just to get Fiona's confiscated items back. Johnny, who she gets along really well. Johnny, who is so nice to her. Too nice.

When Marcie told Fiona that Johnny does indeed like her, I thought, "Oh no."

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no

I was pretty sure she's going to end up with Johnny but I still rooted for Todd and Fiona.

And when something finally happens between them, when they finally get along with each other, Fiona realizes she feels nothing for Todd. She thought he was a good friend.

Okay, Todd never confessed to actually liking Fiona BUT I KNOW IT WAS IMPLIED.

So I was absolutely pissed off when I realize that nothing's going to happen ever between them.

A fan-art I made last night. Made with hatred
and rage in my heart. You're welcome.

I mean, Johnny's a great guy, but I think he's too ... boring for someone like Fiona.

Oh well.

All in all, I liked it. Minus one star because no ToddxFiona.

Love Story

Mom's home, finally! Lots of chocolates here and I'm drowning. From joy. Did you know that I haven't eaten anything else today aside from chocolate because I'm home alone and I'm too lazy that I can't even heat food in the microwave but apparently not too lazy to run to the fridge and grab more chocolate?

Oh, and I have a phone now! It's only temporary, but I don't know until when I'm going to use. Probably until I can buy my own phone. It's an old iPhoone 3G. (Not even a 3Gs, I know.) It's okay. But I can't install  the Goodreads app (and a whole lot of other apps because it requires an iOS higher than what my phone has, and since it's 3G, it can't update anymore). Boo. It's good. I don't really use my phone very often.

READING UPDATE:

I HAVEN'T FINISHED READING I HUNT KILLERS YET!!

But I'm already starting with Kristin Walker's A Match Made in High School, so I'm probably not going to finish I Hunt Killers soon. Sorry. I apologize to my classmate whom I borrowed the book from and promised that I will return it before this year ends.

Before I went to the airport to fetch my mom, I stopped by a mall to check if any of the bookstore had John Green's Paper Towns in stock. My sister and I have been wanting to buy it for weeks now but everywhere we go, all we hear is "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of stock" from every bookstore near us.

Is someone hoarding copies of Paper Towns?!

Anyway, so I bought another book instead. Erich Segal's Love Story, which has been in my Goodreads' Wishlist shelf since September but I always forget to buy.

So very hipster.

Adding it to my To-Read List, after Perfume: Story of a Murderer, Let It Snow and of course, I Hunt Killers. (Maybe I should just change the theme of this blog to The Books I've Read Before I Finally Finished I Hunt Killers.)

My sister also bought a book by Gretchen Rubin called The Happiness Project. It was the only copy in the bookstore and she was literally screaming and jumping up and down and I had to inch away hoping people thought I wasn't with her. She said she read it as a feature on teen magazine and just HAD to buy it so she did. I'm not sure what it's about but I searched for it in Goodreads and someone shelved it as Self Help. Normally, I don't read Self Help books, but I'm probably going to read it too. Hopefully after I Hunt Killers.

I have to go study for Family and Community Health now. Yesterday, I failed a quiz on the subject because I didn't know we were going to have a quiz!!! I scored two points below the passing grade. I would've passed if I had known what the name is of the thingy we use to measure our blood pressure (to which I answered 'blood pressure measuring apparatus' and I had to fight the urge to add -inator after. Re: Phineas and Ferb, if you don't get it) and if my brain didn't suddenly forget everything that I tried to memorize before the actual test, because the question was exactly the one I asked my seatmate before the professor hushed me.

Oh well. It was horrible.

my feels

THERE I FINISHED READING MY LIFE NEXT DOOR BEFORE I HUNT KILLERS.

It's such a great book that I'm kicking myself for not reading it immediately!!! (Alas, I judged it too fast immediately. I should stop doing that.)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL!!

It's a freaking great book. In fact, it's one of the best I've read this year!

A book fangirling is in order! (Yes, that's what I call book reviewing from now on.) Although I'm probably not going to do it any justice because I suck at reviewing! And I don't know why I'm ending each sentence with an exclamation point!!! Maybe it's because I'm so darn emotional right now!

I'm going to miss food ... I mean grandma

My mom's going to be home in about 12 hours! I'm so excited. She's been to the U.S. and Canada, and if Facebook status are an indication, I'm pretty sure she enjoyed herself there. It's only been three weeks, but it felt shorter.

But now that she's coming home, my grandmother, who's staying with us while mom's away, will have to go home already. Nooo! For three weeks, we've eaten everything except take-out, pizza and canned food! I kind of miss pizza, but nothing beats whatever my grandmother cooks. I will miss her and her cookings even though they are loaded with vegetables I don't eat. I guess we're going to go back to not-healthy eating.

READING UPDATE:

Jace is sexy. Yes, I'm ashamed that that's
all I've picked up from the book so far.

I started reading Huntley Fitzpatrick's My Life Next Door last night and when I stopped this morning, I was almost halfway done. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?! Is there an app for when you'r reading and it sets off an alarm after like a few hours to remind you to stop reading for a while and do your homework (I HAVEN'T STARTED!) because that would totally be a useful app. For me.

Oh when will I ever finish
you?

Also, I'm still not done with Barry Lyga's I Hunt Killers, which I've been reading for SEVEN DAYS now. In those 7 days, I read two books in less than a day and I finished one in three days.  What is wrong with me? It's not that it's not interesting (It is. It's about a son of a serial killer, how can that not be interesting?!) but ... I can't focus on one book when there are other books I can't wait to read just staring at me whispering "Read meeeeeeee."






I better get started on my homework.

After a few more chapters.

Slammed

Following the unexpected death of her father, 18-year-old Layken is forced to be the rock for both her mother and younger brother. Outwardly, she appears resilient and tenacious, but inwardly, she's losing hope.
Enter Will Cooper: The attractive, 21-year-old new neighbor with an intriguing passion for slam poetry and a unique sense of humor. Within days of their introduction, Will and Layken form an intense emotional connection, leaving Layken with a renewed sense of hope.
Not long after an intense, heart-stopping first date, they are slammed to the core when a shocking revelation forces their new relationship to a sudden halt. Daily interactions become impossibly painful as they struggle to find a balance between the feelings that pull them together, and the secret that keeps them apart.

Synopsis from Goodreads.

Hands down, this book is one of the best books I've read this year. I finished this one in one in less than a day. I've stumbled upon this book a couple of times in Goodreads before, one because I've seen it was nominated for a Best Young Adult Fiction or something? I forgot. It was nominated alongside The Fault In Our Stars, The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight (both of which I've read already) and I Hunt Killers (which I'm currently reading)

I didn't want to read it first, probably because of the cover. I know, I know. I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I can't help it. The third time I somehow stumbled upon it, I read the summary again and I formulated a theory about the supposed shocking revelation that tears Will and Layken apart. So I gave the book a go to prove I was right.

I was way off. I was off by a thousand miles and a couple of oceans.

I wouldn't spoil the book or anything, but when I read that revelation, I felt queasy. I didn't like reading books about such topics. (I'm being careful with my words!) But I didn't stop reading, mostly because I was curious about how these two characters who seem so perfect for each other overcome this obstacle.

This isn't your typical Y.A. novel about teenagers falling in love, but it did start like it was. Well, not exactly because Will isn't a teenager, but you get the point. I've read a lot of Y.A. novels about falling in love, that I have noticed a pattern: boy meets girl, they find each other attractive but don't say anything about it, they have all these cute moments that I would kill to have with an attractive guy, conflict in the form of an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/family issue/personal issue, conflict gets resolved, they get together in the end, yay!

Slammed isn't like that.

There  is so much conflict that you think there's no way out of it, unless you know there's a sequel. (which there is and I haven't read it yet!) I love a book that makes you scared for what the future brings for the characters, that you can't stop reading because you want to know what happens next, that makes you care for not just the main characters but for everyone else.

Spoiler alert: I cried. And it takes a lot to make me cry.

I know this isn't much of a review but I just wanted everyone to know what a great book Slammed is. I give it 10/5 stars!! (This is my blog, I make up the rules.)