SOS! SEND HELP!

A good way to kick off the birth of this blog is by saying the reason why I started this blog in the first place: I'm panicking.

It all started a few weeks ago. I was reading a book (The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight, which is a great book, by the way, but is in no way related to my point. I just wanted to say that I loved the book.) when a realization hit me like a speeding train: I want to write. I want to write a book. I want to write a novel.

Easy enough, right?

WRONG WRONG WRONG!

I can't think of writing novels! I shouldn't even dare think of writing novels! I have a plan. I finish my pre-med course, take the NMAT, hopefully get into a good medical school, survive, take the board exam, be a doctor. That's my plan. Did you see a 'write a book' anywhere? No. Me too. And this is what's scaring me right now. What if I'm not good enough to be a doctor? I'm not smart. I'm just a mediocre student and I've been wondering how I made it to third year of being a Human Biology student. So okay, maybe I haven't failed any of my subjects (yet. I still have 3 semesters to go. I don't want to jinx it.) and that probably means I'm doing something right, but going to school when you love what you're doing shouldn't feel like a task right?

I feel like all my classmates are way ahead of me. They're so ready and geared up for medical school while I'm still deciding. I tell myself  I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR!!! when I'm having doubts, and that worked for the past 2 and a half years, but now, not so much. I'm so scared. I don't want to disappoint anybody but I don't want to disappoint myself either. I don't want future me to hate past me because she didn't have the balls to stand up for what she wanted. But I also don't want future me to look back at past me and be like, "You made the wrong choice, dude. You should've become a doctor."

A friend I confided about this told me that maybe I'm just having a quarter life crisis (is that a thing?) and maybe I should wait until I'm done with my pre-med and see if I still feel the same. That's 1 and a half year to go.

So in order to keep myself sane, I made this blog.

Also, I love to read. I don't know how that relates to anything I just said, but I just wanted to share. I might post book reviews once in awhile, although I'm not good at reviewing. It's probably just going to be like "OMG THIS IS AMAZING ASDFGHJKL." I don't have anyone to fangirl over books with, so I guess this blog will do.

I don't know how to end this post! I'll think of an awesome catchphrase later.

Ta-ta!